Becoming a Child

Yesterday I worked my way into the city on the public transportation--a conglomeration of busses, overground trains, and "the tube," as they call it here, London's underground railway system. I felt like a slowly moving and fat rat in a rush of hoardes of faster rats swirling all around me. I am learning to adapt to new ways of thinking and living as I enter into the rhythms here, and I recognized that in a sense I am like a child, here, learning how to act in the new world in which I have placed myself. There is so much I don't yet know and with which I am unfamiliar--the money, the way the busses run, how to transfer from bus to train to tube. I must be willing to accept my ignorance and not feel stupid. I have to remind myself that I am new to this place, that adjusting is a process, and doesn't happen overnight, that I don't have to get it all at once. I must put aside my anxiety and my desire for instant gratification and mastery so common in our American culture, and find joy in the journey, in the experience, in the learning about and exploration of my new world. I'm going to need to learn balance between exploration and retreat, between activity and rest, to give myself time to both discover and process all that I am learning.

Meanwhile, I have already entered into some healthier patterns for myself. Only five channels on my bedroom tv forces me to find more quiet--which gives me more time to think, and to get back to my words on the page. Busses and trains must be walked to and from, and traipsing up and down the hills of my neighborhood is bringing me more exercise and activity. The English eat smaller portions and food is not their primary focus in life, with fewer fast food places and more vegetable and fruit corner markets, and tiny restaurants offering Indian and African cuisine, which includes rice, noodles, beans, and light meats in tasty sauces and stews. No iced tea with artificial sweetener, less coffee, means more water and juices instead. I hope to continue to incorporate these healthier habits as I begin the world of child welfare work next week.